Friday, September 14, 2007

"Dad" called in during my web-cam participation on KBS live tv show - "Missing person"

2 weeks ago I participated via webcam at KBS live tv-show "Ku Saram pogo shipoyo/Person I'm missing" where adoptees (international and national) in their search for relatives get to go on national tv.

I haven't been interested in using this media in looking for my Korean relatives, but strange how things happen - while in Korea this summer, some messages got mixed up and I ended up with a message laaate in the night telling me to meet at 7.00 am next morning aarrghh..where I had to join in as audience/backgroundfilling for a KBS special show on international adoption..and honest to say I'd rather have joined some of the other IKAA Gathering meetings. But since the organiser from G.O.A.L. was in trouble if I didn't show up because the KBS people had already made my name sign??!.. well, being the nice girl I am, I eventually went there - and I'm glad I may turn out to be a lucky thing *

Because I got to participate on a later live-show via webcam from Cph - 2 weeks ago.

On a Monday evening after 2 short hours of sleep - I got up at 1.00 am in the night and was on webcam until 3.00 am in the morning, practising with the Korean translator, running through questions etc. while feeling quite..zzZZZ tired ^^

and then around 3.00 am. - the show was running live - I wathced the other participating persons in the studio - one woman got reunited with her mum and they cried and cried for minutes while the tv-hostess tried to get them to face the cameras for a close-up shot, but all they did was hug and cry.

Watching that scenario, I started thinking.. "is that how I'd like my possible first meeting with Korean mum or dad to happen??" ... - and then I listened to an American Korean adoptee, who'd been searching for her family for years.. living in Korea but now she was close to giving up and going back to U.S. I wondered.. what made her decide to stay in Korea for years, searching - or maybe it just "happened"

.. and then it was my turn.. (as I remember from 3 previous participations live on Danish national tv with interviews on national news and (yes..) a game-quiz - it all goes much faster live and it's important to stay really fast if you want time to say what's important for oneself) It was over in a few minutes which felt like seconds.

I'm proud to say, I managed to:

1. stay awake
2. smile
3. avoid tilting the webcam

and then.. I just sat and had to sit out the program and felt zzzZZZZ until

.. a strange surge hit my stomach and I thought.. something happened (it's true) and then the person from G.O.A.L. who was at the KBS studios and online with me chatted "Are you ready to go on tv"

eh.. yes why?

"A man called in - he says, he's your father"

I just reacted logically and clicked the right buttons and listened to a man's voice, who spoke really fast and sounded very excited, looked at the very Korean polite expressions of the 2 tv-hosts and their "Nae, nae" - and then they asked out to me "So this could be your father calling in - how do you feel?"

I don't know why I said "Happy, Excited"

and then the man wanted to say more but was politely being cut off with the end-tune of the show.

and I.... was left hanging

1. no one translated what he had said

2. I typed on the online chat "what now?" and the answer was "Have to speak to KBS writer"

3. I waited but also felt the need to know so I typed "What did he say?" "pls I'd really like to know"

4. "have to speak to KBS writer first"

5. ? ?.....???

suddenly I didn't feel so sleepy anymore...think I only felt numb at that time!^^

6. I got a few info on what the man, who believed to be my father said and then I was told I'd get a mail with further info.. and that was it! Apparently the KBS staff wanted the G.O.A.L. person out so they could work.

So - me being really sleepy and having to get to work in 1½ hour, well, I just ended the online chat with "thanks and will check my mail later today"

and then ...

I waited 4 days before I heard anything again!

Okay.. it gave me time to stay relaxed and just be open-minded - but it also gave me the chance to listen to my own run-wild thoughts on "why did my mother..perhaps she .. or maybe he.. or they...and why..and ..what if.."

Update for now - I've sent some hairs for a DNA-test to see whether it's a match with the man's, who called in.. but that was one week ago :) and guess what ? no news, no mails..

I did get more detailed translation (after 4 days) of what he had said during the show when he called in and as I understand it - for me to be his daughter - (if it's exact) I would have to be born a little later than what I was told that I am....
so for now - I'll just take it as it comes


Whatever the outcome of this will be - it has already made a big difference to me.

I didn't have that much of an interest/courage earlier to search for my Korean relatives - but now something has opened up inside even though I can't yet see all the answers

If YOU*RE out there - wanting to go on KBS or other national tv-media to search for family - Do it! But prepare yourself by talking to someone who's tried it, look at other shows and ask yourself e.g. "Can I accept being part of a tv-show like this" and just remember that even though tv wishes to help out.. then - bottom-line is viewers' numbers, making tv that sells. Not to be cynical, but's a help to navigate with the media :) don't expect them to carry you through - you've got to reherse and prepare yourself and - then, just enjoy it!

You're welcome to leave a comment with email adress - if you'd like some advice from my point of view on +/- on family search via participating in tv.



Blogger Jae Ran Kim said...

Good luck with it all - I went through a similar experience and did a DNA test with a family. The waiting is the hardest part.

8:54 AM  
Blogger Ji In said...

WOW! Any news yet? Good luck, Brit. I'll be thinking of you.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Eat my Shorts said...

No matter what, it is mindbuggleling and I wish you all the best. Most of us are longing for this even though the outcome might be different than you expected.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Betsy said...

Hi Brit! I can't imagine how stressful all the waiting must have been for you!I hope you find out soon just so that you know one way or the other! What an interesting experience, though!

Haven't talked to you in a while-- hope you are well! :-)

1:05 AM  

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