Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Eloquently spoken! Harlow's Monkey

Just read Harlow's Monkey's post on Kimchi Mama's - 'n I have to share part of her post since she has a way with words!

(...)"Some of the best adoptive parents I've met have very, very modest means. They don't have the cleanest houses, the wooden play set in the back yard, or a nice minivan with sliding side doors. Their living quarters are cramped, cluttered and chaotic. And they're perfect for parenting kids whose lives have been messy emotionally and mentally. They don't expect their adopted children to be some perfect living doll up on a shelf. They know their kids will be messy for years to come. And instead of being upset that these kids don't live up to their expectations, they'll be right there in the mess with them.

There is just no way to predict how prospective adoptive parents are going to be as real-time parents after the finalization occurs. Just as there's no way to really predict how the children are going to be. We've all heard the horror stories of the children who seem like quiet little angels and once home turn into abusive, antisocial, reactive-attachment-disordered hellions. This is why prospective adoptive families must do their homework. It's just not going to be excusable to be naive any more. Too many people are getting hurt.

So what does an adoptive parent do if they feel they were wronged by adoption and their child turned out not to be the lovely little doll promised by the agency? Good thing there's this guy. He'll help you get your justice - even after 40 years, it's not too late to take action against a wrongful adoption.

Of course, what recourse does the child have, if she was unlucky enough to have parents who misled her into believing that they would be her "forever family?" Ah, she'll just get relegated as a "bitter" adoptee."


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