Changes

Change happens just like when snow flakes gently melt into the white fluffy Winter carpet outside... - without much fuss, naturally. Change blends in almost intangibly, like a douche color mixing into another seamlessly..

I've changed, grown, matured.. as a person in general and in my perspective on adoption and Korea.

Seollal 2013 marks this re-blogging entry.

What's Now?

Gangnam Style massively re-branded Korea in our global village (still great!)

More and more expats living and blogging from Korea (keep going - just found a new one here Alana in Wunderlust)

Eat Your Kimchi have lost their innocence and gone commercial (but thumbs up for them!)Here's their latest and here's one from when I first found out about them and thought they were fun!

And international adoption has been hitting the media in Denmark like Christmas decorations in the shops in December - since a couple of months now after a documentary showed some rather unethical incidents regarding an adoption from Ethiopia to Denmark.

The politicians suddenly "discovered" that international adoption takes place and that there "may be" a certain lack of post-adoption services to all parties involved in the establishment of this new second or third family relation..- and the birth family. Interestingly, no one has responded to statements from researchers and writers who partipated in the media debate with articles which not only represented adoptees, but more interestingly, gave certified facts and insights on ethical and political issues which lies behind the massive numbers of 'exported' children out of Korea which still take place even though it is far less. Also, articles which uncovered the difficulties for a single mum (even today) to keep her child or get support from family or government (Korean society HAS changed, but still it is not yet there in terms of women's rights as a single mum)and several other issues which have been partially uncovered and communicated to the public by adoptees in search of their own truth and in that process, unwinding a nation's truth on what actually happened..

And when all this and more - is said and done, it is of course important to see the Korean international adoptions in the perspective of history, culture and politics..

If you ever get the chance to watch Deann Borshay Liem's documentary "In the Matter of Cha Jung-Hee - just do it!

Happiness is true wealth!

Your children are not your children from "The Profet" Khalil Gibran

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."

-Khalil Gibran

Veggie food in Seoul - where to go

I've been to a couple of the places on this list of vegetarian restaurants in Seoul and highly recommend BARU..
Now - it's your turn to try - ENJOY :) follow this link

Great things about Seoul - in case you didn't already know

CNN has a site about cities around the world and their SEOhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifUL site has a lot of cool useful info - in case you didn't know - or like my self - is about to find out :)
check it out here

Bodhisattva in metro - who do you want to meet tomorrow on your way to work?

Thank you Sylvain for the link!

and a warm and loving holiday season to all of you

Tobu Korean style; simple to make - very delicious

Find the receipe here at Korea Times.

Happy munching!

Lemonade for Heidi and Bo and Laurits

The Lemonade is given to someone special and dear, who takes the sour and bitter in life and adds sugar - turning it into lemonade - against all odds (as Betsy has taught me).

I am passing on this blogger acknowledgement to my dear friend, H, who was pregnant - for 3 weeks..but the "door" didn't open this time.

Only 7 days ago, I celebrated the new little seed with her and her husbond, we had dinner, laughing, joking and I always just loves their company. I left their place with a warmth and happiness in me for them, yet, feeling how fragile the moment is.. seeing the joy of being pregnant in her eyes and sensing how the fear was accompanying the joy.. the short reflex of holding-the-breath out of fear of being disappointed was also there.. and then yesterday after their first scanning, she sent me a message that there were no heartbeat in the little fetus..

No matter if you loose a child before or after birth, the mother and the father and the sisters and brothers and relatives do not forget..but I can only glimpse how a birth mother in Korea must feel on the birth day of the child that she can no longer hold, no longer comfort, no longer see the face of, no longer call by name, no longer give her love to

I only realized now with the intention of giving the Lemonade blogger acknowledgment to H, how she has been supporting part of my growth and understanding of being an adoptee with a mother - and yet with an invisible mother. A mother who was there even though I cannot see her or touch her.. she was there.. and I was there with her!
It takes courage to speak up on things we cannot see..

Just as Laurits was there with H and now no longer is.. just like the second child was there..and now no longer is.. but H has always shown me the courage to speak up on things that we cannot see, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist..

A quote from my friend Lise's FB profile:

"And the people who were dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music"

Korean Sam-Go-Mu in Shakiras new song

Live and let live... or speak up ?

The reason behind my posting today is that nowadays, the Korean government and volounteer organizations have grown stronger and increased an heightened awareness and understanding of the strong and capable international adoptees society. The official Korea wishes to create network and welcoming home programs to support the large number of grown up adoptees, who travel back to Korea for the first time.

Students, who can't easily find 7.000 DKK for plane tickets and 5.000 DKK for lodging etc. are the target group for these programmes.

This chance should be informed via proper channels and handled by professionals or volounteers with some training in ethics and preferably, indiviuals who are financially independant to ensure

EQUAL possibilities for all 10.000 Danish Korean Adoptees...

Some 10 years experience of volounteering either officially or independantly within the Danish adoptee society of course has been part of my own self-search for Korea/identity and for socializing and learning more about my self and the world around me. My M.A. from University includes a BA minor in Korean, taken 15 years ago, so, Korea to me is not limited to my own individual adoptee perspective alone.

This recent development has again lifted off the lid to an issue, which lingers and I'm hoping to find an outcome, which I can consider ethical and considerate if I look back at this situation in 10 or 20 years time..

The situation revolves around one person, who under the presumably humane and unselfish intentions of protecting Danish adoptees have caused numerous misunderstandings between reunited Korean birthfamilies and adoptees as well as pushing some adoptees out and bringing other adoptees closer into the circles, which then receive the increasing amounts of fundings and support from the Korean government and volounteer associations.

During the past 15 years things have happened like e.g.

* bringing together adoptees with Korean birthfamilies, who turned out NOT to be their birthfamilies but con-people

* arranging group travels for adoptees going to Korea and getting a ticket for free several times

* earning a living from being supported by organisations in Korea to bring back adoptees to Korea

* causing the contact to be lost between adoptees and their reunited Korean birthfamilies due to "translation" - e.g. based on the individuals own oppinion that the family didn't care enough about the adoptee and as such, in one example, told the adoptee that the family didn't care about her and didn't take interest in seeing her..After 1½ years, the brother took a big step and wrote a letter asking what went wrong and said that the translator had said that she didn't want to see them anymore ever again.

* demanding to talk to birth mothers before the adoptees were allowed to meet them in order to find out if they had "proper" intentions. Some adoptees were told not to meet their birth families since they only wanted their money..? and then when they insisted, that turned out to be far from true..

* telling adoptees that this person had found their birth families but then even after being asked several times over 1 year, still wouldn't give out contact information or any evidence that this was true..

* using government supported programmes with all expenses paid to support this individual's personal language school of 20 people, thus leaving out the possibility for the remaining 9.950 Korean adoptees in Denmark to get information about this offer and to participate.. Some of the participating people from the inner circles who have been pushed through have a regular job income and have been to Korea several times.

* taking adoptees in to live and then, throwing them on the street again for ...(?) no understandable reason

These are only a small number of mistifying events taking place under the actions of this person and somehow a small number of people wish to continue give support to this under the category, "It's just the Korean way"...

I don't totally agree - and AGAIN MUST UNDERLINE that the intention behind my posting today, is to ensure that all adoptees receive equal chances of participating in the increasing programmes and fundings from the Korean government and volounteer organizations.

This chance should be informed via proper channels and handled by professionals or volounteers with some training in ethics and financially independant to ensure

EQUAL possibilities for all 10.000 Danish Korean Adoptees...