Sunday, February 24, 2008

Letting go of an illusion

I've had one of those moments, which call for inner reflection - and I have chosen to post these reflections, because ‘we’ as adoptées in some ways are depending on single persons of Korean heritage in various aspects of our journey.

What seemed to me to be a quaint and endearing quality in my Korean ‘aunt’ blew up in my face last week in full-flaming outbursts of the not so elegant kind, supposedly due to the so-called Korean etiquette, but I’m not sure if this is the core of the matter.

So what is "Korean etiquette" ??

Sometimes it is when 50 beautiful pieces of Korean ceramics are to be smashed as an act to show her disregard towards a monk. Sometimes it is when a young Korean Danish girl is talked down to in harsh words by her, because the girl didn’t wear clothes to this person’s liking. The young girl is in the beginning of her 20’ties, wearing very nice and young people’s clothing - and has been reconnected with her Korean family, who apparently hasn’t commented on her clothing.

I've cut this post a little shorter - my point is that I've been able to use this situation as a time for renewal. A chance to continue my personal journey towards understanding and caring for my Korean heritage and a chance to remember that being Korean adopted and being Korean is a relation that is 'same-same, but different'. As in all other relations, it's good to be concious of the generation differences, culture differences, etiquette and personal beliefs.

Obvious!? but to an adoptée like me, I have been reminded that I am vulnarable and eager to please and fit-in with Korean-Korean persons, because I am mirroring and looking to see and understand more about myself. And I don't think I am alone in this :)

I’ll continue to enjoy meeting Korean-Koreans in Denmark and work for bringing Korean culture experiences to Denmark and Europe.

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As I stated in the beginning of this post, I have chosen to post this to bring it out in the open - and as in all personal private blogs, any posts express only my individual opinion.


Blogger Betsy said...

Oh my gosh Brit, this whole ordeal must have been exhausting! Seems like you've come to some important insights about yourself, but most importantly I'm glad you've decided to distance yourself from this woman. She sounds completely toxic!

On the other hand, I guess we often learn from the things (people) that try us most. It sounds as if you've grown as a person from this altercation, so hopefully some good has come out of it!


10:50 AM  

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