Julia's World: a Jewish American Korean adoptee

“Finding her would be like

Giving birth a second time.”

- A Vietnamese mom,

looking for the daughter she gave for adoption.

She found her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is a quote that touched me which is from the blog of Julia - an adoptee like me - raised by Jewish Americans - and she's got such a clear, sharp pen!

I recommend her blog

About a mother... not a fairy tale story

Welcome to a dear friend who started her blog "Laurits". Amongst all the many facets of her life and personality, her life includes the story of her child, Laurits and a 'motherhood' of a difficult kind.

In her own words,

"Part of my blogging profile is being Laurits' mother, which is quite a large part of my profile! Unfortunately, part of Laurits' profile is that he is dead. But he is also much more than that and this is what I need to show the world - with this blog about Laurits".

Since university I have followed my friend and her wonderful husband, how they create such a good atmosphere around them, how they seem to have the perfect relationship and how they make it - the perfect relationship. I've seen them marry and move to Japan for one year abroad and so wishing them blessings and happiness. I was among some of the first to know about and congratulate her on her pregnancy!

And then ...suddenly she was no longer pregnant and ... no longer a mother. At least not in the sense that most of us use the term, mother.

They got to keep their son only in what counts in hours - precious time and I've seen pictures of him, seen the love shine painfully strong in the eyes of my friend as she speaks of him, Laurtussen as they fondly nick-named him.

And it's not to understand how painful it was and is for a mother and a father to let go of their newly born child.

But they continue to talk about him, they have and continue to create a space in their lives for him and he has to be there - with them not physically but in their minds and memories and actively taking part of life with his parents.

And - it's heartbreaking to know - that out there are many mothers and fathers, not only those of adoptees - who go through one of the biggest loves of all - parent to child - only to loose it too soon by the stroke of some forced upon circumstance..

My friend is courageously finding ways of living life with her son - not erasing him from their hearts - he was there in her arms. Any mother is probably without a choice whether or not to allow her love for her child to burn freely.

How fragile, yet wonderous love is, like a flower growing in the midst of our basic human need to make some sense out of chaos without judging one self or falling under the judgement of others. And I am reminded that something more can unfold in one's life - and I am reminded that no one .. no one walks alone

Empty spaces of the family tree

Seoul of my soul-blogger reminded me of the amazing arts project postsecret! with this postsecret 'Shhh'.

The empty spaces of the family tree stand out without any explanations - just white empty spaces.

If I were at a dinner party and spoke to a person who didn't know anything - and I mean anything at all - about the past 1 or 2 years of his/her life - and didn't really care to find out.. that would definitely call for a reaction on my behalf.

But when the 'missing years' or empty spaces happened at the beginning of your life then sometimes adoptees are met - from outside as well as from within - with an attitude of - starting over again and somehow cutting off the first months or years of one's life.

"Why do you want to know about Korea? You're Danish!" or even remarks like "Don't be too self-conscious"

Would you pass on similar remarks at a dinner party to someone who lost 1 or 2 years of their adult lives? Would you say "well, so what if you don't know where you were and who was with you for the past 2 years"

The Danish Queen HRM shows her artistic talents in ceramics painting

Photo copyright Politiken.dk

Her Royal Majesty of Denmark Queen Margrethe and His Royal Consort visiting Korea - the first official visit since 1959

photo copyright Chosun Newspaper

The official visit of the Danish Queen and the Prince Consort to Korea aims at reviving diplomatic relations as well as enliving the business relations between Denmark and Korea. Of course, mobile technology is one of the areas where Danish researchers are looking to tap in to the advanced experience of South Korea - one of the most sci-fi-hi-tech countries at present. Seoul National University and Aalborg University have now officially entered a cooperation agreement. Wonder where the Copenhagen IT-University
was 'hiding'..?

Similar to earlier Danish royal visits to e.g. Japan in 2005 raised bothsided awareness on eachothers business cultures, this current visit could also help raise understanding among Danes about the variety of Korean culture and people.

Am I putting my hopes up too high?